This is not the life I imagined it to be.
That was just one of the many thoughts in my head as I hit my lowest lows in life. What's the point of my existence in the first place? Was I brought into the world just to pay the bills? To put up with the daily meaningless grind just to stay alive?
It doesn't make sense. I was frustrated. I never ask for all of these. I never ask to exist just so that I can take on these liabilities and obligations. I was never given a choice in the first place. Just another hand me down situation. When am I ever going to get the chance to live the life that I actually wanted?
It's easy to blame though. To play victim. It's not our fault. It's the environment. It's the culture. It's our parents. It's the government. It's society. Because when we blame everything else other than ourselves, we don't have to be responsible nor accountable. Best of all, we don't have to do anything.
And that's exactly how we ended up feeling trapped in the first place.
While it's true that we never ask for most of these circumstances, the fact remains that this is still your own life. It doesn't matter how much you resent others for wanting you to be someone you're not. Or to be forced to live an empty life just to please and fit in with others.
So here's a reminder. You are not just a mere passenger in the backseat, just sitting there helplessly and taking a wild ride to places you never want to be at. Own it. Get on the driver seat. Start making choices for yourself.
It doesn't change the fact that you might still be pulled in different directions. You might be tempted to cave in and just revert back to being a passenger. But do so only when you know it's the right choice, when you're the one who's actually making it and not others. Because ultimately, you are responsible for the outcome of your own life.
And you have the power to choose all along.
Question: Are you living the life that you want?