Have you heard about the Zen parable of the empty cup? Although there's probably different versions of it, let me share with you the one that I know.
Once upon a time, there was a Zen master who's well known to be the wisest of all. Thanks to his reputation, many people were willing to travel from far away just to seek his help. Or perhaps teaching. Consulting or therapy maybe? Something like that.
One of these people happen to be a scholar. He's book smart, got straight A's and bragged to everyone that he didn't study at all to get good grades. He's interested to know more about Zen so of course, he requested that the master impart knowledge to him.
During the session, it seems that he was more interested to share his opinions and what he already read about. Maybe he likes the sound of his voice, so he kept interrupting the master pretty frequently. The master, being Zen and all, didn't show his annoyance but let's get real - he definitely is so he just suggested for them to take a break and drink some tea.
The scholar hold his cup and never seem to stop yapping while the master poured tea. He just kept pouring until the cup overflowed with hot tea, ending up on the scholar's robe.
Scholar: Hot! Stop! Why are you still pouring? Can't you see the cup is full?
Zen master: Ah, of course. Your mind is like the cup, already full of knowledge and opinions that there's nothing more for me to fill. Perhaps, you can come back when it's empty?
Or just upgrade to a larger cup that I have here, at the convenient price of....
Nah I just made that last one up. But that's roughly how the story goes. The lesson here is that it's hard for you to learn anything new if you're already a know-it-all. Instead of listening and learning, you're just busy offering your own opinions, knowledge and experience.
For you to truly learn, you have to be open minded and let go of preconceived notions. What you already know is more than often a hindrance when it comes to absorbing new information - your mind would resist and stick to the old ways of thinking.
This is the opposite of what can be observed in modern day society. We laud growth and progress. To do more. Be more. Have more. All these achieved through addition. And we're pretty addicted to it.
What if we apply the lessons from the parable instead? Rather than focusing on addition, how about introducing subtraction to the mix?
Imagine that you're the cup. When you were born, it's empty and thus the process begin with filling it with content from your parent, teachers, society etc. In this case, the content we're talking about is beliefs. Beliefs about yourself and how the world works.
As time goes by, it's painfully obvious that some of your beliefs are outdated and causing a lot of problems in your life. It's like trying to navigate from an old map when it's no longer reflecting reality on the ground.
You try to adopt new beliefs but it's conflicting with the old ones, just like how the cup is full and overflowing. Addition and bruteforcing doesn't seem like the correct solution.
Wouldn't it be simpler to subtract? To remove the content from your cup so that you can pour a fresh batch of tea? Using the same example here, the idea is about learning how to unlearn. To let go of what doesn't serve you aka the old beliefs.
By letting go or unlearning, you're creating space for new beliefs to take root. Beliefs that moves you forward and away from stagnation.
I said simple but it's not easy. By default, we would always take the path of least resistance. These old beliefs that were instilled in you since you were a child - they are like deeply grooved path formed over time.
To unlearn is to backtrack and to deviate from the path. This process is akin to hacking through thick vegetations. It takes a lot of conscious effort just to create the new path. The alternative is to keep it as it is. Then again, why would you still walk the same path if you know it'll always lead you to the wrong place?
And clearly I've deviated from a cup of tea to navigating through a thick forest.
With that said, it seems that your cup is full now.
Here, have some more tea.